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| The Grapes Noah grew |
Satan was struggling… really struggling. Since God had wiped out most of the world’s population with his flood, there was nobody to steal from, nobody to dishonor, nobody to embarrass. The conniving spirit sat in his hellhole, deep in the fiery hollows beneath the earth, depressed and alone.
CLUNK CLUNK
Satan awoke from a long sleep to his lair shaking. Extremely hissed off, he began to scream “WHAT THE ACTUAL…” and then he realized… this disturbance is good. It is a sign life had returned to earth.
Satan awoke from a long sleep to his lair shaking. Extremely hissed off, he began to scream “WHAT THE ACTUAL…” and then he realized… this disturbance is good. It is a sign life had returned to earth.
Quickly and stealthily, Satan surfaced to the earth to see Noah himself surrounded by a plethora of vines. Grinning to himself, Satan conceived his idea while lurking closer to the oblivious man. He looks tired, Satan thought. Must be from dealing with all of those animals on a freaking ark for so long. Thanks for the invite… oh wait!
“Can I help you?”
Satan jumped and turned around to find that, while he was so deep in thought, Noah had noticed him.
Satan jumped and turned around to find that, while he was so deep in thought, Noah had noticed him.
“Me? Me? Oh yes, don’t mind me. I was just observing your beautiful ripening vino producers.”
“Vino?” Noah asked.
Fell right into the trap. Boom.
Acting shocked, Satan stood, putting his hand on Noah’s shoulder while talking to, you know, “create the feeling of security and trust.”
“Are you telling me, kind sir, that you have never sipped the great wine that the grape has to offer?”
“Are you telling me, kind sir, that you have never sipped the great wine that the grape has to offer?”
Noah shook his head and Satan proceeded. “Oh well, then we must change that! Wine gives you the power of relaxation and focus like you’ve never experienced before in your life!”
Sighing, Noah thought about whether or not to trust this strange individual. After being on the ark for so many sleepless nights and smelly, uncomfortable days, he sure could use some relaxation. “Alright, I’ll try it. How does one make it?”
Satan was content… very content. Not only had Noah fallen for his little game, but thanks to the “extra special ingredient” being thrown into the concoction, Satan was going to get a good laugh and even make a decent profit at Noah’s expense.
During their interaction, Satan had convinced Noah he needed to take some of the grapes down to his “special cellar” to create the great juice. While down there, Satan put some extra special curses on the drink, you know, the type of curses that only work on mortal beings. Since he hadn’t done a curse, or really anything in quite some time, his work was a little uneven and unsteady, but, in the end, he was satisfied with the effort he had put in and the final product. “Noah is in for a little transformation.”
“A toast! To my dear new friend Noah and his fine vines!”
As the two drank and sipped into a relaxing state where they were, you know, feelin’ it, Satan started to worry that his curse wasn’t going to work.
“Have another glass, my dear friend!”
Nothing.
“Friend! Let’s finish the pail!”
Nothing.
Right as Satan was about to stand up to go make more, Noah said something that gave him fuzzy warm feelings right in the heart. “I don’t feel so good.”
Slowly, Noah began to shrink. It was like something one could never imagine… white, thick curls began to grow out of his arms and legs. His head began to shrink and then elongate… Noah’s screams shortly turned into… baas. A lamb?! An innocent little lamb? What the…
Satan was pissed. He grabbed the pail and stuck the lamb’s head into it. “Drink, Noah, drink!”
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| Noah's finest form |
The lamb began to groan and growl as it grew and changed. The thick white turned golden and thin and the small, feeble body grew strong and broad. Noah was now a lion.
“Hell ya,” Satan yelled his patented term. “Now that’s what I’m talking about!”
Satan grabbed the pail and hopped on Noah’s back. “Come now, let's go into town! I want to show everyone what my lion can do!”
Riding his strong animal into town, Satan felt like king of the earth. Nothing could stop him! Nothing could knock him off this high horse! Nothing…
“Hey, I’m getting kind of thirsty.”
Satan jumped about six feet in the air and landed painfully on a giant rock. “Did you just speak?” he asked the lion that was Noah.
Noah, though, was not listening. He had found the pail that Satan had dropped in his moment of disbelief and was lapping up the remnants that had spilled from it.
“NO DON’T DO…” before Satan could even finish his sentence, the lion began to shrink and his fur began to develop a pink tone. Before too long, a pig was standing in front of him. But that was not all, the pig then, being a pig with pig like tendencies, decided to stick his snout into the pail and lap up the last little puddle inside. The transformation process began again…
“Woo hoo! I feel great! I am alive! How are you? Wow, I have so much ENERGY!”
Satan stared at Noah, furious. His lamb-lion-pig was now a monkey. What a disaster. “What. Were. You. THINKING?!” Satan yelled at him, kicking over the bucket. “You. Just. Ruined. EVERYTHING!” Satan began to charge at the monkey, who was running in circles giggling and apologizing simultaneously. He tripped, fell face first onto the ground and didn’t even have the energy to get back up. Hmm this ground feels warm… I’m just gonna take a little nap…
Satan awoke to his body shaking. Opening his eyes, he saw he was lying in the vineyard with Noah standing over him, staring intently. Luckily, he was human.
“Oh good, you’re alive!” Noah exclaimed. “Wow! Is that what wine is always like?”
“Yes,” Satan said grumpily, realizing exactly how much he had ingested.
“I was so relaxed and then hungry and then energized… but you got mean.”
“Yes,” Satan said again. “I tend to do that.”
"Also," Noah continued, "why are we naked?"
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Author Bio: My name is Hannah Stephens, and I am a senior at the University of Oklahoma.
I got the idea for this story from the Biblical story of Noah getting drunk in the vineyard. In Louis Ginzberg's version, it is said that before drinking, one turns into a lamb, then moderate, a strong lion, then a pig and then a monkey, so this was my rewriting of that parallel. I did, though, remove the part about Satan slaughtering each of these animals in my rewrite; it seemed a little too graphic to include! I wanted the end to have a twist, which is why I chose for Satan to get so drunk he fell asleep. Was it all a dream? When did his dream begin? When did he fall asleep? All things that will remain unanswered.
I decided to write on this section of the story in particular because I found the metaphors Ginzberg used (comparing the stages of one's drunkness to animals) were highly entertaining and needed to be elaborated on. I picked the picture at the top because I felt as though it was vivid and clear, and it is the view I picture Satan having when he is first trying to spy on Noah. Because I enjoy lighthearted short stories, I decided that my portfolio will be dedicated to that, and this one would be a great item to include. It made me excited to add onto my portfolio in the future and to have the chance to see my writing change and develop as the semester advances on.
I got the idea for this story from the Biblical story of Noah getting drunk in the vineyard. In Louis Ginzberg's version, it is said that before drinking, one turns into a lamb, then moderate, a strong lion, then a pig and then a monkey, so this was my rewriting of that parallel. I did, though, remove the part about Satan slaughtering each of these animals in my rewrite; it seemed a little too graphic to include! I wanted the end to have a twist, which is why I chose for Satan to get so drunk he fell asleep. Was it all a dream? When did his dream begin? When did he fall asleep? All things that will remain unanswered.
I decided to write on this section of the story in particular because I found the metaphors Ginzberg used (comparing the stages of one's drunkness to animals) were highly entertaining and needed to be elaborated on. I picked the picture at the top because I felt as though it was vivid and clear, and it is the view I picture Satan having when he is first trying to spy on Noah. Because I enjoy lighthearted short stories, I decided that my portfolio will be dedicated to that, and this one would be a great item to include. It made me excited to add onto my portfolio in the future and to have the chance to see my writing change and develop as the semester advances on.
Book 1, Chapter 4
I really loved this story. I was laughing through most of the story. You used the word plethora, how cool is that. Satan spoke much like college students, which was a nice twist to an ancient tale. Your use of dialogue and the tittle The intoxication of Satan are great. The sentence "But that was not all, the pig then, being a pig with pig like tendencies, then decided to stick his snout into the pail and lap up the last little puddle inside." is a bit long and reads awkward, but other than that I thought you did an amazing job. I look forward to reading more of your writing throughout the semester.
ReplyDeleteThis is hilarious! This is a great little twist on an original story. I think my next story will include drunken characters- you have inspired me! I also like using Satan as a character with all his mischief and bad intentions. I really enjoyed this story and I hope to read more from you throughout the semester!
ReplyDeleteHey Hannah! I've noticed with your stories that they are a little misleading at first. Although it does not sound that good, I think it is a good thing! In both stories that I read (I read the Sultan story for the weekly blog comments) I noticed how they always end up being different from the beginning. With this story, I enjoyed having Satan be the narrator. It was an interesting internal conflict for myself because I know I don't like Satan and I wanted to tell Noah to run, but he was the narrator and I was able to be inside his head. I hated him, but I knew that because it was his point of view, I knew what he was trying to do to Noah before Noah knew. There was nothing I could do to stop it. The way Satan spoke was funny to me because it sounded so modern in such an older story. The ending left me wondering what I wanted to think happened. I still don't know if I think it was real or not, but I do know that it was a great story that kept me entertained and invested the entire way!
ReplyDeleteHi Hannah, I was not super familiar with the Biblical story of Noah getting drunk in the vineyard, but luckily your Author’s Note gave me enough background information to notice the main differences between your version of the story and the original story. I am honestly glad you removed the part where Satan slaughtered each of the animals because that sounds a little freaky and creepy. I like how you changed the ending for Stand to get drunk and fall asleep because it made me wonder about what point exactly he was dreaming and sleeping. I think you had an excellent amount of dialogue throughout your story and made it flow nicely as well. Some people have trouble doing so, but you executed it really well. Overall, I really enjoyed reading your story and I am looking forward to reading more of your posts in the future! Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteI think this is one of my favorite stories I’ve read so far in this class. I actually laughed while reading it. I liked how irreverent Satan’s speech was even though the rest of the writing was more formal. The sudden code switching makes it even funnier. I think the only inconsistency was that Satan was very bored because there was no one to curse, but then once Noah turned into a lion he said he wanted to ride him into town to show everyone. That could be an inconsistency, or it could just be really funny once he gets there and remembers that everyone died in the flood. Now, although I said I really like the code switching, I think there were some little bumps in the rode, especially in the beginning. The more formal writing is not always super consistent. I think it might just take a couple more rereadings and to tweak it a little to get it to where it flows really well but overall it’s very good.
ReplyDeleteHannah oh Hannah. This is such a comedic piece it had me laughing the entire time. I thought this story was very cleverly written and witty to say the least. I like that you put your own twist on it by making Satan ad Noah get drunk. Your author’s note made it very clear what you like to write about and it gave the reader an inside scoop on what you wanted this story to be about. I like that you parallel the story with the metaphors Ginzberg used. It added depth and substance to your one-of-a-kind story! I loved this piece a whole lot due to the lighthearted voice that you are wanting to be the underlying tone to your portfolio. Great job, looking forward to reading more of your stories in the future!
ReplyDeleteWhen reading your story, I could tell that it was going to be interesting. I couldn’t tell what story that you had actually based yours off of so I probably hadn’t read the story beforehand. I find it funny that Satan has magical powers such as the ones in your story. It is weird that he can come onto the Earth as himself and Noah could go with him into his hallow. I really like the part where after drinking so much wine Noah turns into a lamb. I like his evolution from a lamb into a lion. That is very creative! Especially when he changes into a pig and a monkey. I like the dialog at the end of the story because it reminds me of the story of the Garden of Eden when Adam and Eve realize they are naked after Satan had tempted them into doing the wrong thing. I think your story was great and I can’t wait to read more of your stories!
ReplyDeleteI liked how you started this story with “satan was struggling…really struggling.” It made me want to continue reading because of the humor behind it. You said in your author’s note that you wanted to write lighthearted stories and I think you were successful in that! Your descriptions also made it easy to visualize what was happening. Satan’s dialog was nice too, and it was cool to see what he was thinking as well. I especially like the part towards the end where he exaggerated every syllable of his sentence.
ReplyDeleteThere are a few things you might think about editing though. In the second paragraph you say “hissed off” and I think you meant to say pissed off. Also in the third paragraph you put “create the feeling of security and trust” in parentheses and I think it might be better without them. With the parenthesis there it seems like satan is speaking out-loud, when it’s actually dialog in his head.
Other than that I think you did a great job with this! I love the twist you added, and how you decided to keep the end ambiguous for the reader.
Hannah,
ReplyDeleteI love the first and last lines of this story! I think the first line is the perfect introduction for the tone and theme of this story, and the last line sums up everything that just happened in such a funny way! I also absolutely love how you include so much of Satan’s thoughts and inner dialogue in this story – it really made me feel like I was experiencing it from his point of view. I also think that by giving us this insight in such casual language helps bring humor and light heartedness to a topic many people are usually very serious about, which I see was one of your goals for this story! I think you achieved it, for sure! I did see a typo or two, but other students have already pointed them out, so no need for me to repeat them.
I think you did an excellent job, and I’m really looking forward to reading more of your stories in the future (especially if they are always this hilarious!!)
I thought your story was very well done! I love all the dialogue and funny bits throughout the tale.
ReplyDeleteI think your portrayal of Satan and Noah are very creative and really give a new angle on this old tale.
I do wonder why Satan wanted a lion? Is it just for the coolness factor or did he have other reasons? Also, if Noah knows he's supposed to be the last human on earth after the flood, why is not more surprised to see some random person when he is in the vineyard? I feel like I would be pretty amazed to know I'm the only person alive, other than my family, to see someone else at random. I don't know, just a thought I had about the story.
Your use of dialogue is excellent. I really felt like part of the story and their exchanges are very funny.
I look forward to reading more of your portfolio. I really have so little comment on in the way of edits. I just thoroughly enjoyed this story.
Hannah,
ReplyDeleteYou are a really great storyteller! You write with good detail, and the dialogue is very conversational. I was unfamiliar with your source story, but you did a great job of explaining it in your Author's Note. I really like the spin you made on the story, and the introduction is wonderful. I thought the way you describe Satan's boredom and his meeting Noah was clever. You really make Satan sound like a relatable college kid who naps and drinks too much. I like that Satan really doesn't cast a perfect spell, and it sort of backfires on him. It's almost like he is a comical cartoon villain. I find the ending hilarious! I love that Noah seems to have had a really great time with the wine, and Satan is hungover and confused. The story really captures all of the different stages of being drunk; relaxed, hungry, energized, mean, and waking up naked. I doubt Satan will make this mistake again. I really enjoyed reading this story!
Thorpe
Hannah, the story was great! I was laughing pretty hard for most of it, especially at Satan's nonchalant "hell ya". Gotta love those wine nights. The next morning, not so much. Your creativity with the story was something else. The idea that Satan was bored because nearly everyone had passed with the coming of the flood was a great motive. You really fleshed out the characters well, and made it fun at the same time. Great job.
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely love your story! It is very captivating and funny at the same time. It is really enjoyable to read. Through your story, it made me view Satan as a very crafty and mischievious character, someone like Loki. I did not read the original version, but based on your Author’s note, I am so glad that you remove the graphic details of Satan slaughtering the animals because it would be very graphic. I love the tone you used in the story and the interesting twist at the end, where Satan got drunk and slept. I like how you created the questionable ending about whether Noah’s transformation did happened or it was just Satan’s dream. There are few things about story’s format that I think you can improve to make your portfolio visually better. First, in this story, the first image of the grape vine is too big that it invaded the sidebar’s area. Second, for the paragraphs, some paragraphs you have the first line indented too little while other are indented too much. Other than that, I love your story. Keep up your good work!
ReplyDeleteHannah, I was so confused by this story at first, but after reading through the whole thing and your author's note, I have to admit it is the most creative story I've read in a while. I agree that it was a good idea to leave out the slaughtering of all the animals. That would have taken away from the light heartedness of the story. I agree that when people drink, we do have tendencies similar to all of those animals. Cute twist at the end with Satan getting to drunk and falling asleep by the way. Happens to the best and worst of us I guess haha.
ReplyDelete